Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Silly haole, soy sauce is for mainlanders

We local boys use shoyu.

Today, I was eating lunch at Shirokiya when I overheard this conversation:

"Excuse me, do you know where the soy sauce is?"
"Soy sauce? Do you mean shoyu?"
"What? I mean soy sauce, like you put on sushi."
"Sorry, I don't work here."

You don't see it often, but once in a while some unsuspecting tourist wanders into Shirokiya, probably because it happens to be located in Ala Moana. The store must be very confusing at first. The bottom floor is a mess, without a whole lot of design qualities to distinguish the used books from the toys from the electronics. What kind of store is it? I don't even know. It isn't a junk store, but it isn't a department store either. Simply, they sell Japanese things. Sony products, overpriced Japanese toys, and a whole host of other things, things that a mainlander would never understand.

Upstairs is the better part, because upstairs is kind of a Japanese grocery store. I can't help but walk out of Shirokiya without buying some uni or natto or something. This is the part of the store that really freaks people out; even my own son won't touch a lot of what they sell up here. I sometimes send him care packages of the strangest things from here that I know he eats, because he says it freaks his roommate out. Takuan is great because it's cheap, it survives shipping, and mainlanders think it smells horrible.



Today, I somehow ended up explaining the myth of the night marchers to a client. To those who don't know, the night marchers are the ghosts of Hawaiian soldiers. They patrol their old routes even if that means walking through buildings, and if they know that you've seen them, they'll kidnap you, and you'll just vanish into thin air.

I also told him about how you're not supposed to take pork over the Pali. At this point, I think he thought I was a superstitious old codger, or maybe a dumb native Hawaiian. He did very little to disguise his condescending smirk.

Screw you too, haole. Even though I don't believe in the Night Marchers either, at least I have an appreciation for tradition. These are old stories... they deserve respect.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Late-night family emergency.

So, I made my first post, and not soon after I almost completely forgot about this site. I must say it's kind of a novelty to have my own domain name. I'll do something about making it more personal soon.

Today was... interesting. You'll notice that I typed this blog entry late at night. That's because I had to pick my nephew Mike up from the ER. His wife called me at eight, sounding really embarrassed and generally stressed-out, not that I can blame her. Mike had been in a car accident, and although the airbag deployed just fine, he hurt his hand because he was holding the wheel like a cocky 17-year-old. I know because he drove me home once before. Once. Only once.

Poor Mike was thoroughly spooked by something-- something about the night marchers. Aren't old people like me supposed to believe in night marchers? Mike is fifteen years younger than me.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; Mike thinks the world's going to end in 2012. He didn't exactly freak out in the car, but he did that thing of his where he acts like he has something of utmost importance to say.

Actually, if Mike thinks the world's going to end in 2012... why does he put so much money away for retirement?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

First Post!

My name is Kenneth Tamada, and this is the first blog post I've ever made in my life. I'm a 48 year old mechanic living in Honolulu. I'm divorced, and my only son has long since moved to the mainland, so I suppose he feels obligated to teach me how young people waste time nowadays, to make sure I don't get bored. He's lucky-- I like technology. On his recommendation, I upgraded to Firefox this morning, and found that it has an automatic spell check. Two thumbs up.

While I have been making use of email, Youtube, and Amazon.com for years, the attraction of blogging has always eluded me. It seems to me like people do it for attention-- they live for the idea that people will see their blog as one of the top search results, and think that it's very funny and insightful.

It's just that I don't have strong opinions on much of anything. I think the most important thing I learned from serving in the National Guard is that what you can do and what you're willing to do is much more important than what you think. When it comes right down to it, you either can or you can't. Politics has nothing to do with problem solving. I know CPR, I'm in shape, and I can fix almost anything that could possibly be wrong with a car. Those are things that get things done, when you absolutely need something done.

Therefore, I'll only indulge in writing opinions about current events and politics if I'm truly bored. I would much rather write about my daily exploits... assuming business picks back up and I don't end up having to sell the computer. Hey, maybe Obama will make things better for me; I sure don't make enough money to have my taxes increased. Maybe I even won't have to pay for health care any more! Oh, I can hope.